You are walking in circles...April 18, 2011
Forgive me Lord, for my laziness, my lack of mobility to do your work, my apathy towards allowing you to lead me, and me to follow. Forgive me! My flesh feels sluggish, Lord, unwilling to follow you through the suffering: even denying myself time in bed in order to have time to pray with you is a struggle. Please, please give me the grace of desire to follow You, to put You first. Please, please light a fire in my heart to serve You, to follow You every day. Annihilate the fear that I have in sharing You with my brothers and sisters. Give me, please, the grace to go forward every day in your Name, to carry your Cross as a banner upon my heart, for You: to walk within your Divine Will always, so that I may trust in You more completely. What You will, I desire. Give me the strength for my flesh to catch up to my desire, please God! Thank you.
“My poor unbalanced child! I say unbalanced because you are walking in circles! You have not allowed Me to carry your cross. It is weighing you down, dragging through your life, slowing you down, causing you to turn from the path that I desire for you. So My child, balance yourself. Is it perhaps I that is stepping on the cross to hold you back? I am giving you the strength now to lift your cross to Me, and the vision to see how to remain walking balanced. You know what you need to do to start! I have created you as a human, with bodily requirements which must be met: sleep time, work time, rest time, prayer time. I have also created within you, dear son, the love of the outdoors, the love of early mornings for a purpose: are not these times the most precious to you? Are not these times, since you were young, the times that you felt My presence the most: staring at the beauty of a growing sunrise, the sweet smell of the freshly washed earth as it rose to meet your senses, the freshness of the morning air?
You knew, your soul knew, even though at that time you did not give Me a name. The One who was walking with you, sharing My delights with you, the peace that you have always felt: that was My Presence with you. The music of the sigh of the wind in the trees, the ruffles of the grass? The soft whispering of the leaves, the first warm ray of the sun upon your cheek? The transformation of colour as the dawn greeted the sun? My creation. My order. My peace. Me…
I have created you to work within the callings of your heart. It leads to Me. Start from there.
Go in Peace!”